Whether it's a birthday, anniversary, or any special occasion, choosing and giving gifts is something we do naturally.
We often don't consider the deeper meanings behind our choices.
However, the gift we give and how we present it reveals much about us, our relationships, and the social dynamics within our community. Behind every thoughtfully selected gift, there are layers of social, psychological, and emotional significance.
The History of Gift Giving
Gift giving has been part of human culture since it's earliest days, and it might even predate human civilization. Our closest ancestors likely exchanged gifts like uniquely shaped rocks or animal teeth to strengthen social bonds and show appreciation. As societies evolved, gifts became more elaborate and decorative, reflecting the growing complexity of human relationships and social structures.
Why Do We Give Gifts?
Gift giving plays a significant role in our social lives, and the reasons we give gifts can vary greatly, sometimes even conflicting. Often, our culture dictates gift-giving on occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, but gifts are also used to build and strengthen relationships with family members, friends, and potential partners.
To Build and Strengthen Relationships
We give gifts to reaffirm or establish connections with others, making them a reflection of both the giver and the receiver, as well as their unique relationship. Giving a gift allows us to express our feelings and appreciation.
A Way of Showing Love and Devotion
Gifts are often symbols of love and devotion between partners, aligning with the theory of symbolic interactionism, which suggests people communicate through symbols. For example, when someone wants to express love, flowers are commonly given as they symbolize feelings of love through their beauty and fragrance.
Symbolic Communication
Have you ever received a gift that filled you with joy or, conversely, one that left you disappointed? This reaction occurs because we assign symbolic meaning to gifts. Even if a gift is given with good intentions, it may feel thoughtless if it doesn't meet our expectations or emotional needs, highlighting how gifts communicate more than just their material value.
To Receive Something in Return
Gift-giving is often about building or strengthening a relationship, which implies a sense of reciprocation. Sociologist Dimitri Mortelmans suggests that gift-giving creates a debt-balance, where gifts should be returned to prevent negative feelings.
To Help Others
Some gifts are given without expecting anything in return. This includes gifts for children or pets, where reciprocation isn't possible. Altruism often plays a role here, driven by love and appreciation. Donating money, volunteering, or supporting charity initiatives are other forms of giving, motivated by the feeling of pleasure or satisfaction that comes from helping others.
To Find a Mate
Much like other animals, humans also use gift-giving as part of mating practices. Chimpanzees, for example, give food as a way to gain favor, and gibbons offer gifts to keep mates. Men who are more generous with gifts tend to have better success in both short-term and long-term relationships. In contrast, women often use gift-giving to strengthen social bonds with family and friends rather than for mating purposes.
The psychology of gift giving
Video by UNSW
